Bo's Struggle
by EmmalinaD
Summary: This takes place starting in Season 3 Episode 6, during Kenzi's rescue. In my version Bo has developed an eating disorder and Tamsin finds out. Tamsin tries to use her tough-love approach to help Bo. Tamsin and Bo find they are falling for each other. Lauren also makes an appearance. Trigger Warning for heavy mention of Eating Disorders and self-loathing.
1. Chapter 1

Bo's Struggle

Bo stumbled as she walked behind Tamsin, starting to feel very weak and ill but refusing to stop moving.

Tamsin noticed that Bo was looking rather weak and near to collapsing. Bo slips and falls to the ground.

"When was the last time you fed?" Tamsin said, feeling annoyed that Bo was slowing them down but starting to realize that she also felt concerned about the succubus, and even a little attracted to her.

"I don't know, I don't remember," Bo said, realizing she honestly didn't remember. She had been avoiding feeding for the past several months as she had become obsessed with losing weight. She had gone without actual food for nearly a month but in all honesty it was "feeding" that kept her alive in the long run and she had been avoiding that as she slipped into depression, not caring about anything but continuing to lose weight.

"You need to feed, Bo, or your not going to make it to the cave. You can feed off of me," Tamsin said, not wanting to let her but knowing she had to or she would likely pass out. She couldn't carry both Bo and Kenzi back from Inari's.

"What?! There's no way I'm feeding off you of you, Tamsin, no offense. I'm fine, really. I don't need to feed...anymore," Bo said.

"You don't need to feed...anymore? Bo what's going on with you? Are you trying to not feed?" Tamsin said, becoming increasingly concerned. This was not like Bo to just not feed. There had to be more going on that what she was seeing.

"I told you i'm fine, Tamsin, I don't need to feed. I've gone who knows how long without it now, so I must not need it anymore," Bo said, becoming aggravated at Tamsin's persistence.

"Bo, your going to feed off of me, right now, or I will carry you back to the Dal myself," Tamsin said, sternly.

Bo looked up at Tamsin, an ache in her stomach as she realized how much Tamsin wanted her to feed. She didn't want someone to care about her that much but at the same time realized that she liked the attention she was getting from the Valkyrie.

"You can't carry me, Tamsin, I'm too heavy," Bo said, not wanting to admit she was having feelings towards Tamsin and wanted to feed off of her just to get a taste of her.

"Bo, you have to be at least 20 pounds lighter than me. At least. Especially since you obviously haven't been feeding. Are you becoming succubus anorexic?" Tamsin asked.

"What? There's a term for what I'm doing?" Bo asked, quickly realizing her mistake, "Err, I have no idea what your talking about."

"Bo, your going to feed off of me right now. You want to get to Kenzi before its too late, right?" Tamsin asked, knowing Bo wouldn't be able to refuse the offer once Kenzi was mentioned.

"Fine," Bo said.

Bo kissed Tamsin, then began to feed off of her, but stopped as soon as she started to feel even the slightest bit better.

"Bo, that's not enough," Tamsin warned.

Bo began to feed again but kept if only slightly longer than the time before.

"Are you sure that's enough, Bo?" Tamsin asked, concerned by how little Bo was feeding. "I can't feed more, Tamsin, its been so long that I just can't..." Bo said.

"Alright, I guess that will do for now, but if you start looking ill again i'm going to make you feed again," Tamsin said.

Bo felt another flutter in her stomach as she realized she was incredibly attracted by Tamsin's take charge voice. She kind of hated her for making her feel that way.

Bo and Tamsin continued to the cave and soon after had rescued Kenzi. She was in bad shape and needed to be carried back. Dyson had arrived by that point and offered to carry Kenzi back. Bo, started to stumble again and Tamsin grabbed her arm before she fell.

"Are you okay, Bo?" Dyson asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just feeling a little tired is all," Bo said, not wanting Dyson to know what was really going on with her.

Tamsin sensed Bo's discomfort and decided to help her friend out.

"Why don't you and Kenzi go on ahead of us and i'll make sure Bo gets back okay," Tamsin said to Dyson.

"Sure thing. See you back at Lauren's," Dyson said, referring to Lauren's office where he would take Kenzi so Lauren could check her out.

"Bo, your not gonna like me for saying this, but you have to feed off me again. I didn't want to say anything in front of Dyson because I have a feeling you don't want him to know what your doing. If you don't want me to tell anyone you have to feed off of me, again," Tamsin said.

Bo wanted to feed off of Tamsin so badly. She liked how her friend tasted. She'd never tasted anything like it and it was incredible, but she wasn't about to let Tamsin force her to feed. She had gotten this far, she wasn't about to give up and feed now. "No, I won't do it. You can't make me. I told you i'm fine," Bo said.

"I can't make you? What are you, 7?" Tamsin said, not wanting to let on how concerned she really was of her friend.

"Maybe I am. What do you know anyway? And why do you care so much?" Bo asked, not wanting Tamsin to know how much she really liked her and wanted her love and attention.

"If it takes you being a 7 year old to get you to feed, then fine, i'll play your little game of house. What does that make me? Your Mom? Your Babysitter? Auntie Tamsin?"

"Whatever you want to call yourself," Bo said, starting to feel a little dizzy, but trying to hide it.

"Well then, little Bo, if you won't feed I guess I'm going to have to put you to bed early," Tamsin said, turning on her heels. She started walking back towards the cave, frustrated with Bo's behavior when she heard her friend fall to the ground. She quickly ran to Bo's side, realizing her friend had fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

"Bo!? Bo? Can you hear me?" Tamsin said, frantically. She patted Bo's cheek, trying to get her to come to. After a minute Bo stirred but didn't completely come to. Tamsin heard her mumble something but couldn't make out what she was saying.

Tamsin had no idea what to do now. Bo obviously needed more help that she had realized previously. Should she take her back to her place and try to get her to feed? Or should she take her to the hospital? Fainting was a sign that Bo wasn't taking care of herself, so she probably needed to be looked at immediately.

Lauren, she could take Bo to Lauren. She would know how to help Bo or at least be able to check her over, seeing as how she was a Dr. Tamsin didn't want to be the one to tell anyone else what was going on with Bo as she had said she wouldn't but she felt she didn't have a choice anymore. Bo has chosen to not feed so Tamsin didn't really have a choice in the matter anymore.

Tamsin carefully lifted Bo into her arms, surprised by how light her friend was. She really had lost a lot of weight recently, it appeared. She was about to carry her to Lauren's on foot when she remembered that she could fly, when necessary. She spread her Valkyrie wings and flew off with Bo to Lauren's clinic.

Tamsin landed quickly 10 minutes later and almost stumbled but regained her balance as she remembered she had Bo in her arms. She didn't want to further injure the succubus. She rushed to the doors of Lauren's clinic and quickly pushed the buttons to open the automatic doors.

Lauren looked up from the paper work she was filling out when she heard the doors, surprised to see Tamsin carrying an unconscious Bo.

"Bo! What happened, Tamsin?" Lauren said, running to Tamsin's side, very worried about her girlfriend.

"Long story, but she hasn't been feeding."

"Here, put her on this bed over here," Lauren said, helping Tamsin put Bo down on a nearby bed.

Lauren set to work on Bo. First she shone a light into Bo's eyes and began to call her name.

"Bo? Can you hear me?"

She got a mumble from Bo, as she opened her eyes for a few seconds but then closed them again quickly.

She took Bo's pulse and blood pressure then ran to grab an IV pole and a bag of sugar-water. She started the IV on Bo who didn't fight her as she was still not completely with it yet.

Tamsin stood on the other side of Bo, holding her other hand and stroking it gently. After Lauren got the IV started she set the drip pace then put Bo on some oxygen as well.

"Okay Tamsin, tell me the whole story while I continue to look her over."

Tamsin started with Bo nearly collapsing on the way to get Kenzi and finished with Bo collapsing after refusing to feed again.

"So do you think she has Succubus Anorexia?" Tamsin asked.

"That would definitely explain her symptoms and behavior. I wonder how much weight she's lost and how long she's been doing this," Lauren said.

After about 30 minutes Lauren realized that Bo wasn't responding to the sugar-water as well as she'd hoped she would.

"I think what she really needs right now is to feed, Tamsin, but you said she refused to feed off of you right before she passed out. I wonder if she would feed for me. If not I think I have another way," Lauren said.

Tamsin nodded and decided to go get some fresh air for a few minutes while Lauren talked to Bo.

"Bo? Can you hear me? Its Lauren," Lauren said, trying to encourage her friend to wake up.

Bo finally opened her eyes after hearing Lauren's voice a second time. She realized she was in Lauren's clinic and wondered how she had gotten there.

"Lauren?"

"Yes, love, I'm here." Lauren could tell that Bo was confused and wondered how much she remembered before she came to.

"How did I get here?"

"Tamsin picked you up when you passed out and carried you here. Well, flew here actually. She realized that you were in danger so she got you here as quickly as she could.

"That's not possible. I'm much too heavy for her to have carried me. She weighs less than I do," Bo said, her SuccuAna clouding her mind.

"Bo, you appear to have lost a lot of weight in the past few months. I won't lie when I say i'm worried about you. Tamsin told me how weak you were earlier on the way to get Kenzi and how she had to force you to feed off of her. And then you passed out after Kenzi's rescue because you refused to feed off of her again. You do remember that you are a succubus, right? You can't just stop feeding, sweetie," Lauren said, hoping that Bo would realize how silly this was and feed from her right then so she could get better.

Bo hung her head, not wanting Lauren to know what she was doing. She also hadn't wanted Lauren to find out that she had fed from Tamsin. She had tried so hard to only feed off of Lauren the past few months after Lauren had expressed how upset she was that Bo fed off of other people instead of just her. At the beginning of their relationship, when Bo had realized she could stop feeding in time to not kill Lauren, she had begun to feed off of Lauren quite often and it had finally been too much for Lauren to physically handle. But when Bo had tried to feed off other people instead of just Lauren, Lauren had become upset. It was at that time that Bo had started feeling like she should try to feed as little as possible to please Lauren. It was around that time that she had also started to feel like she wasn't pretty enough, wasn't good enough for Lauren or anyone unless she stopped feeding so much. She had also started to eat less actual food too and had liked the way she had started losing weight. She felt much lighter and the hunger had given her a high that she had started to live for.

Bo loved Lauren and didn't want to hurt her but she couldn't stop what she was doing. She wanted to be perfect so that Lauren would love her even more. She didn't feel like she was even close to being perfect yet.

"Bo, I need you to feed for me, okay? You can feed off of me, Tamsin, Dyson, whoever you want but you have to feed and you have to feed soon...or your going to get worse. Your already very weak and vulnerable from not feeding."

Bo was shocked that Lauren wasn't mad at her for feeding off of Tamsin. Hadn't she told her months ago that she really wanted her to only feed off of her? Perhaps this was some kind of trick then. Maybe Lauren thought that if she said Bo could feed off of anyone that she actually would. Bo wasn't going to fall for it. She would not feed anymore. She couldn't.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry, Lauren," Bo said. She didn't care what anyone said, she just couldn't feed anymore. She'd gone this long without feeding, she must not need it anymore.

"Bo, you do realize you could die if you don't feed?" Lauren asked, hoping she could scare her girlfriend into cooperating.

"I don't care, Lauren. I"m not going to feed. I don't even need to be here right now, there's nothing wrong with me," Bo said, reaching down to her hand with the IV. Her intention was to rip it out of her hand but Lauren stopped her by placing a hand on top of hers, firmly but gently.

"I understand that you have no desire to feed right now but that's not going to stop me from trying to keep you alive in any way that I can. The IV is staying in and your staying here until I decide you are well enough to leave."

Bo felt that same flutter in her stomach that she had felt with Tamsin. Bo looked up at her lover, realizing that Lauren really did care about Bo, or at the very least that she wasn't going to let her go without feeding. She both loved and hated Lauren at that moment. Loved her for making her feel wanted but hated her for forcing her to do something she was trying to keep from doing in an attempt to better herself. Or at least that's what she thought she was doing.

Lauren, I..."

"What's it going to be, Bo? Are you going to feed or am I going to have to force feed you?" Lauren asked, interrupting Bo in a no-nonsense voice. She didn't want to force Bo to do something she didn't want to do but she wouldn't sit there and watch her girlfriend die.

Force feed her? How was she going to do that? She couldn't force Bo to feed off of her or anyone else. Bo had to want to. Did she have another way to force feed her? She decided that she wasn't going to feed willingly. She gritted her teeth and looked away from Lauren, despite the fact that she was very concerned about what Lauren was going to do next.

"Okay then, force feeding it is I guess," Lauren said, walking to another room to grab something.

Bo was terrified now as she realized Lauren must have somehow come up with another way to "feed" Bo. One in which Bo had little say in. She realized that she was going to have to put up a fight or face getting force fed. She had to act quickly if she was going to get out of this.

She threw off the blanket that was covering her and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Unfortunately Tamsin had walked back into the room a few moments earlier and as soon as she realized what Bo was about to do, she was at Bo's side again.

"Bo, no, you can't run now. Lauren is trying to help you get better," Tamsin said, standing so that Bo couldn't get out of the bed without Tamsin grabbing her.

"Tamsin, don't try to stop me. I told you before that I can't stop and I won't," Bo said, attempting to stand up even though Tamsin was directly in front of her. Bo had hoped she would be strong enough to push Tamsin out of the way but as soon as she was standing she felt her legs start to give out again. She was lucky that Tamsin was right in front of her because as soon as she saw Bo's legs start to give out she reached out and caught Bo under the arms. She wrapped her arms around Bo's waist supporting her weight.

That's not what Bo had wanted Tamsin to do. She had hoped that she would help her stand up and then let her go, but she should have known better.

"Tamsin, please, let me go. I don't need your help. I just want to get out of here," Bo said, despite how weak she was and the fact that she could barely stand without Tamsin holding onto her.

"Bo, I doubt you can even walk at this point. If I let go of you, your going to fall."

The Valkyrie had to fight back tears as she saw how frail Bo had become, yet how she still kept fighting to get away.

A part of Bo wanted to let Tamsin help her back into that bed and feed off of her until she felt strong and could actually walk again, but there was a voice deep inside of her that was rising to the surface of her mind. It kept telling her that she had to fight her friends or anyone else who was trying to "help" her or she would never be good enough for them. This voice told her that she had to do anything in her power to keep from feeding because feeding meant she was weak, stupid, and that she would never truly be beautiful if she didn't listen to it.

Feeling strengthened at least in her mind, Bo began to try and wiggle her way out of Tamsin's arms, hoping she could get Tamsin to let go of her. She didn't care if she could walk or not. If she couldn't walk she would crawl and if she couldn't crawl she would use her arms to slide herself across the floor until she made it to the door.

Tamsin was pretty sure that Bo was trying to get out of her grasp so that she could attempt to get away, despite being too weak to walk. She wasn't letting go of Bo no matter how hard she struggled to get away. Bo was still connected to the IV as well and if it got ripped out of her hand it could further injure the weak succubus.

"I'm not letting you go, Bo. You can fight as much as you want but I care too much about you to let you go," Tamsin told Bo, holding her tightly around the waist and pulling her closer to her body.

Bo fought for a few more minutes before she was overcome with weakness. Her knees went weak and she laid her head back against Tamsin's chest, feeling exhaustion hit her body hard. Tamsin supported Bo's weight so that she wouldn't fall to the floor but decided that it might be easier if she picked Bo up so she grabbed Bo's legs and gently lifted her up until she was cradling Bo in her arms. She looked down at Bo's face. Bo was much calmer and was staring back up at Tamsin, looking defeated.

Tamsin had the sudden urge to kiss the weak frail succubus. She was about to decide if she was going to kiss her friend when Lauren walked back into the room with the syringe full of liquid.

Lauren was a little surprised to see Tamsin cradling Bo in her arms but decided that something must have happened while she was in the other room.

"Everything okay?" Lauren asked.

"It is now. Bo tried to stand up because she was feeling a bit panicky but she was too weak to stand up yet so I caught her before she fell," Tamsin said, hoping it didn't look like more than what it was. She didn't want to take Bo away from Lauren. She realized that she had feelings for Bo that had only increased in the past few weeks but she also knew that Lauren was Bo's girlfriend and she didn't want to betray her.

Tamsin gently placed Bo back on the bed, stroking her hair before looking back over at Lauren again, waiting for what was to come next.

"When I first met Bo I decided to try and duplicate the "Feed" that she gets from other people. It took me a while to get it ready but I think I have it right. I'm not sure how much it will help her if any but if she won't feed then this is the only option we have right now," Lauren said, before moving to the side of Bo's bed where the IV was in her arm.

As soon as Bo saw Lauren coming towards her with the syringe she began to panic. She was not about to let Lauren give her something that was close to a "feed". She had gotten this far without feeding, she wasn't going to just give in that easily.

"I'm not letting you give that to me," Bo said defiantly, panic in her voice as she began to try and sit up. Unfortunately for Bo, she had Tamsin and Lauren on either side of her bed so she wasn't going to be able to get out of bed very easily.

"It's going to be okay, Bo. As soon as we get this in your IV line your going to start to feel much better. Your very weak right now and i'm sure you are feeling quite anxious. That's all a side effect of not feeding. If you let me give this to you, you will feel more like your old self again," Lauren said.

"I don't want to be my old self again! Fat, disgusting Bo, who always needed to feed off of other people!"

"Bo, do you think your fat?" Lauren asked, stopped just as she was about to push the syringe into the IV line.

"You wouldn't understand," Bo said, turning away from Lauren. She didn't want to tell anyone what was inside her head.

Lauren decided not to press Bo and that getting the "feed" into Bo was more important at the moment.

Bo didn't realize that Lauren had started to push the plunger into the IV line until she felt the syringe being withdrawn from the IV.

She looked at it in panic as she saw the empty syringe.

"What did you do? I told you that I can't feed! Your ruining everything!" Bo said, now furious with her girlfriend.

She did began to feel her body strengthening quite a bit but she also felt as if her body was turning ugly and fat as well. She had to get away so she could burn off the feed that Lauren had given her.

Bo began to plot how she was going to get out of Lauren's clinic. She decided to calm down and act as if everything was okay and the minute there was no one by her side she was going to yank out her IV and run.

Lauren noticed that Bo seemed calmer but wondered if it was just an act she was putting on. She left Bo with Tamsin next to her while she went to dispose of the syringe.

"Are you feeling better, Bo?" Tamsin asked, taking a seat next to her friend, feeling a tad worn out herself from the exhausting day.

"Yeah, I am. But I'm incredibly thirsty all of a sudden. Like crazy thirsty. Do you think you could get me some water?" Bo asked, realizing she didn't have much time before Lauren would be back. If she could get Tamsin to leave her side as well, she could make a run for it.

"Sure thing Bo," Tamsin said, smiling at her friend before getting up to grab her some water. She realized later that she probably should have seen what was coming. Bo had been way to calm after receiving her feed.

As soon as Tamsin turned to go get some water, Bo placed her hand under the blanket and ripped out the IV. She barely felt it come out. She watched as her body responded to the "feed" and healed the prick in her hand before it had a chance to bleed. Then she threw the blanket off and made a quiet run for the doors of the clinic. She was out the sliding glass doors in seconds and began to run as fast as she could, away from the clinic.


	3. Chapter 3

Tamsin realized as soon as she was walking back to Bo's bedside with the water, that she had been tricked. Bo wasn't in her bed and she didn't see her anywhere nearby. She wanted to think that maybe Bo had just gotten up to use the bathroom or something, but because of Bo's recent behavior she was fairly certain that her friend had made a run for it.

She was about to go grab Lauren and let her know Bo was gone when she felt a strong urge to just run out of the building and go after Bo; alone.

Compelled by the feeling to get to Bo as fast as she could, Tamsin set the cup of water down on a table and ran out the sliding glass doors. As soon as she was down the street from Lauren's clinic, she stopped to catch her breath and to think of where Bo might have gone. She doubted that Bo would go anywhere that people she loved were at so she figured the Dal was out, but she might have gone back to the clubhouse that she shared with Kenzi. Tamsin decided to start there.

Bo had decided to stop by the clubhouse and grab some of her things before she decided where to go next. She ran up to her room and had all the important stuff in her bag, when she remembered Kenzi. Could she really just up and leave Kenzi without explaining to her best friend why she had to leave? She decided to write a quick note and leave it near the door. Kenzi wasn't currently home so she figured she must be at the Dal with everyone else.

Tamsin had reached the clubhouse around the time that Bo was writing the note for Kenzi. She hurried up the stairs and slowly opened the front door, which was unlocked. She managed to do so without making a sound and spotted Bo writing something on a piece of paper.

Bo finished writing the note and had grabbed her bag and started walking towards the front door, when she spotted Tamsin. She stopped in her tracks and stared at her friend, not really sure what to do now. She had been caught before she could even leave and she had a feeling that Tamsin wasn't going to let her leave without a fight.

"Tamsin, what a pleasant surprise."

"Hello, Bo, guess you decided you weren't so thirsty after all, huh? Thought you could maybe pull a fast one on me?"

"Tamsin I..."

"Save it, Bo. I get it. You thought you'd try to run while you had a little bit of strength from the shot Lauren gave you. Because running is so much easier than letting other people help you. You have a problem, Bo. And its only getting worse. If you run, your only going to be able to make it so far before your body can't take anymore," Tamsin said. She was frustrated with and concerned about Bo.

"Tamsin, I don't have a choice anymore," Bo said. She was about to say more when she realized that she was dizzy. She grabbed onto a nearby table, hoping that Tamsin hadn't noticed.

"Bo, are you feeling okay? Are you dizzy?" Tamsin asked, coming closer to Bo and putting an arm on her. She couldn't conceal the concern she had.

"I'm fine. Just please, let me be..." Bo started to say, trying to shake Tamsin's arm off of her but the dizziness wasn't going away. Bo felt like she was going to fall to the ground. Luckily for her Tamsin had noticed that Bo looked very weak and had come even closer to Bo, so when Bo started to falter, Tamsin was there. Bo leaned against Tamsin, unwillingly, hoping that the dizziness would stop quickly so she could stand up again.

"It's okay, Bo, i'm here. You can lean on me all you need," Tamsin said.

Bo started to feel a little better and tried to stand back up again but she went too fast and dizziness nearly took her to the floor.

"Whoa, sweetie, not so fast. Here, why don't we sit down for a minute," Tamsin said, taking Bo's arm and helping her sit on the floor. Tamsin wrapped her arms around Bo, not caring if Bo wanted her to or not. She held her close, not wanting to let her go.

Bo felt herself relax as Tamsin held onto her. She hadn't felt this calm and safe in a long time and she realized that she liked it. Slowly, Bo lifted her head from Tamsin's chest and looked into Tamsin's eyes.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Tamsin asked, smiling down at Bo, concern and longing in her eyes.

"Better, much better," Bo said, transfixed by Tamsin's beautiful eyes. Bo felt like she was in a trance as she leaned in to kiss Tamsin, feeling every muscle in her body relaxing.

Tamsin was ready for the kiss and didn't pull away, realizing she had wanted Bo to kiss her for awhile. Without realizing it, Bo began to feed off of Tamsin as her body relaxed even further. She stopped after about 30 seconds and began to kiss Tamsin again, loving the feel of her friends lips. The two kissed for several more minutes before Bo pulled away.

Bo leaned back against Tamsin, feeling energized but exhausted all at the same time. Tamsin wrapped her arms around Bo again, realizing that Bo had just fed off of her without being forced to do so. She wasn't sure if she realized what she had done yet or not and if she was going to panic.

It took Bo a few minutes before it began to set in that she had just fed off of Tamsin. Her first thought was of how good Tamsin had tasted, but that quickly turned to panic as she realized that she had just fed, willingly.

"Oh no, I shouldn't have done that! Why was I so stupid?!"

"Bo, I don't see anything wrong with what you just did. You fed, and no one had to force you to. I think that's suppose to be a good thing," Tamsin said, trying to reassure Bo that it was okay.

"No, you don't get it, Tamsin, I'm not suppose to NEED to feed anymore! I thought that if I went for a long time without it that I wouldn't need in anymore. Not only that but i'm never going to be beautiful if I start feeding again! I can't just sit here, I have to go work it off!" Bo said, starting to panic. She got up before Tamsin could stop her, but Tamsin was on her feet in seconds as well.

Tamsin realized that Bo was going to go exercise until she collapsed, to try and burn off the Feed. There's no way she was going to let her do that, especially when it appeared that she had made some progress, just a minute ago. She had to get Bo to see that.

"Bo please, don't go!" Tamsin said, stepping in front of her friend. "It's okay that you fed and its okay that you wanted to. You don't have to "get rid of it" as your trying to do. Do you see how strong you are right now? That's because you just fed. If you would start feeding again, on your own, and stop trying to suppress your "hunger" you could keep on feeling stronger," Tamsin said.

Part of Bo wanted to be able to stop feeling so panicky after feeding again, but she couldn't stop the thoughts that were going through her head. The thoughts that told her she wasn't suppose to feed because if she did she would be fat and ugly, forever.

"Tamsin, I don't have a choice! Don't you understand? I wasn't suppose to feed. I don't deserve to be allowed to feed, because I'm not good enough, i'm not pretty enough, i'm not thin enough. I will never be perfect if I feed!"

"Bo, I won't even begin to try and understand why you feel you aren't good enough, but I can tell you this. You have to fight whatever is telling you that you aren't suppose to feed, that you aren't good enough. Because its wrong. You are good enough, and you have to feed, because the alternative is that you will die."  
"Maybe it would be better if I was dead! You don't get it, Tamsin! I can't fight it. I'm not strong enough to fight it! I have to do what it says!" Bo said, becoming frantic. She began to pace back and forth, not sure what to do but knowing that Tamsin was likely not going to let her exercise. Suddenly she had a furious look in her eyes.

"Tamsin, let me go, now! You can't stop me from exercising. I will fight you until you let me leave," Bo said, hoping Tamsin would step out of her way.

"No, I'm not letting you go," Tamsin said.

Bo decided she was going to have to attempt to get past Tamsin on her own then. She decided to try and take Tamsin by surprise. She planned to act calm then when Tamsin's eyes were averted, she would slam into Tamsin and push her out of the way and then run. It never dawned on Bo that Tamsin was waiting for her to do so.

Bo took a few slow deep breaths, trying to act calm. When she saw Tamsin look away for a second, she knew this was her chance. She slammed into Tamsin as hard as she could, which with her renewed strength from the feed was a lot harder than she would have been able to a few days ago. Tamsin was still stronger that her though and grabbed Bo's wrists before Bo had a chance to push Tamsin to the ground. Bo realized that Tamsin had grabbed her but had been taken by surprise and had to stop and think before making her next move. She tried to kick Tamsin in the knee but Tamsin was ready for her. She moved her leg out of the way of Bo's kick and wrapped her leg around Bo's, stepping closer to the Succubus. Since she had one of Bo's legs in a tight hold, Bo couldn't move without risking tripping so she began to fight to try and get her hands free so she could try and hit Tamsin with an arm but Tamsin had her tight. Tamsin took the opportunity to circle behind Bo and wrap one of her arms around Bo's chest, pinning one of her arms down then the other so that Bo couldn't use her arms to fight. Bo was pretty restrained as this point and realized she had no way out.

"Tamsin, why are you doing this!? You don't understand what your doing to me by stopping me! Please, will you just me go?"

"I'm doing this because I care, Bo. You said you weren't strong enough to fight this. If you can't fight this on your own then I will help you fight it," Tamsin said.

Bo's stomach went all fluttery on her as she realized that Tamsin really cared about her. She wanted to continue fighting Tamsin but she felt so loved at that moment that she didn't think she could continue doing so much longer.

"Please, Tamsin, i'll do whatever you want me to. Just let me go," Bo said, her voice weak from fighting so hard.

"I won't let you go, Bo, and I won't let you fight this alone. You need me and I think you want my help more than your letting on. You can do this, Bo. I believe in you," Tamsin said, feeling her voice start to break as she felt so much love for Bo right at that moment.

Bo caved and gave in to the tears that were threatening to spill onto her cheeks. Tamsin let go of Bo's leg with her own and with an arm around one shoulder and holding onto one of Bo's hands, led her to the couch where she sat down and pulled Bo close to her. She held Bo in her arms once again, holding her close as she continued to sob into Tamsin's chest.

"It's going to be okay, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere," Tamsin said, leaning her head onto Bo's.

"Good, because i'm going to need you," Bo said, through her tears.


	4. Info about Bo's Struggle

_Hello everyone! No, this isn't Chapter 4 just yet, I just decided to add this on as I kept forgetting to put it in at the beginning of one of the chapters._

 _I wanted to know what everyone thinks of my story "Bo's Struggle" so far? Please, please feel free to leave a review whether it be a negative or positive review. Also feel free to tell me how you think I should take this story. If there is anything you like that I put in or if you would change anything. I welcome all input._

 _I also wanted to add that while I set this story starting at Season 3 Episode 6, it definitely doesn't follow the show's episodes exactly. I kind of branched off and made this all about scenes between Bo/Tamsin and Bo/Tamsin/Lauren, that I made up on my own. I have watched Lost Girl through Season 5 episode 8, but didn't want to follow the direction in which they took it, thus why I'm showing a lot of content with Bo/Tamsin._

 _The reason why I wrote this story was because I noticed that there weren't any eating disorder related stories for Lost Girl yet. And I just love the relationship that developed between Bo and Tamsin so much that I thought giving Bo a struggle with an eating disorder would really bring their two characters closer._

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Lost Girl or any of its characters._

 _Thank you all for reading my story! I was amazed to see that so far at least 590 people have viewed it! I would love to hear any and all input about this story. I have ideas for future Lost Girl stories coming as well:)_


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm going to go ahead and label this Chapter as Chapter 5 and say that the last entry I made that wasn't part of the story will be Chapter 4, just to keep it all syncronized. I didn't realize that the site would force me to make my last entry an actual chapter._

 _Also wanted to thank everyone for the reviews! It means a lot that people want me to keep going on this story:)_

 _This Chapter is going to be a bit short and I apologize, but I wanted to get it up so I can keep working on the next Chapter. Hope you like it!_

Tamsin sat on the couch with Bo in her arms for a very long time before either of them felt like speaking or moving. Bo had felt comforted by being in Tamsin's arms and Tamsin hadn't wanted to let her go after she had finally stopped fighting.

"Are you feeling any better, Bo?"

"Yeah, I am. I don't feel so scared now. I...I think I like you, Tamsin. You make me feel safe and I don't feel so scared about feeding when your holding me," Bo said, surprising even herself.

"You are the most beautiful person i've ever met, Bo. That's why its so hard for me to see you in so much pain and hating yourself so much," Tamsin said.

Bo looked down at the floor. She didn't feel beautiful, that was for sure, but Tamsin definitely made her feel special, at the very least.

"What do we do now, Tamsin? I know I have to fight this thing that is making me not want to feed, but i'm so scared," Bo said.

"When I said I would help you fight this I meant it, Bo. I'm not leaving you until you can feed without wanting to exercise for hours afterwards. And if you don't want me to ever leave...well...I won't," Tamsin said, feeling herself blush. She didn't want to come between Bo and Lauren but she had to let Bo know how she really felt about her. She truly was falling for Bo and she didn't want to give that up if there was a chance the two of them could be together.

Bo was also thinking about Lauren and wondering what she was suppose to do. She still loved Lauren and wasn't ready to end the relationship with her but she was also quickly falling in love with Tamsin. How was she suppose to choose between the two of them?

Before either of them could say what they were feeling, they heard a frantic knock on the front door.

"Who could that be?" Tamsin asked, getting up off the couch and hurrying to the door. She slowly opened the door a crack and peered out to see who it was.

"Lauren?" Tamsin said, a bit shocked at first to see her but quickly realizing that she had left her at the clinic when she'd ran after Bo.

"Tamsin, is Bo here? Is she okay?" Lauren asked, not able to hide her concern.

"Um, yeah, she's here. And she's okay. Come in," Tamsin said, not sure exactly what to do now that Lauren had come looking for Bo.

Bo had remained on the couch and looked up when she saw Lauren hurrying into the clubhouse, followed by Tamsin.

"Bo! Are you okay, sweetie? I was so worried about you!" Lauren said, hurrying over to Bo and quickly sitting next to her and putting an arm around her girlfriend.

"Yeah, i'm doing better," Bo said, feeling a bit awkward now that Lauren was here.

"Why did you run, sweetie? I was so worried when I saw that you were gone! And Tamsin too. You did try to run, am I right?" Lauren asked.

Tamsin came over and sat on the other side of Bo. Bo looked over at Tamsin for help, not really sure what to say to Lauren. She had run away but after the events with Tamsin she was feeling much calmer but also unsure as to what her relationship with Lauren was going to be now.

"Okay, can someone please tell me what's going on here? I'm a little worried now.." Lauren said, seeing the exchanged look between Bo and Tamsin.

"Lauren, yes, I did run away. I was really scared after you gave me the Feed so I asked Tamsin to get me a glass of water and then when she went to get it, I ripped out the IV and ran. I came back here to grab some of my things, intending to run away, but then Tamsin showed up. She, um...well, this a bit hard for me to tel you, Lauren, because i'm feeling a bit confused right now. I started to feel faint after Tamsin told me to not run and I ended up feeding off of her, of my own will, and then...I got scared and Tamsin helped me realize I was going to be okay. I'm so sorry, Lauren. I wasn't trying to keep things from you and I wasn't trying to betray you. I know you only wanted me to feed off of you from now on, so when you asked me to do that, I decided that I had to stop feeding so much, until I didn't feed off of anyone, anymore, because it made me look weak. And because...I wasn't good enough if I was having to feed off of people," Bo said. She didn't want to lose Lauren. She loved her so much...but she also loved Tamsin. She didn't want to have to choose. The thought crossed Bo's mind at that moment that if she couldn't choose, maybe she didn't deserve either of them.

"Bo, I'm not upset with you for feeding off of Tamsin. In fact, I'm so happy that you did, because it means you fed. I was really getting worried about you. And I was wrong to ask you to only feed off of me. If I had known that it was going to lead to you getting Succubus Anorexia I never would have told you those things," Lauren said.

Bo hugged Lauren tightly, glad that she wasn't upset with her for feeding off of Tamsin, but realizing that this still didn't solve the problem she had in front of her. Who was she going to choose?


	6. Chapter 6

Lauren sat next to Bo realizing that something was indeed going on between Bo and Tamsin. She had seen the way Bo looked at Tamsin for help when Lauren had asked her if she was okay. When she had realized Bo and Tamsin were gone from the clinic she had panicked a bit. Her first thought was that the two of them had run off together, because that was one of the worst fears that Lauren had. She couldn't lose Bo, not after she had fought to be with her. After she had come to her senses, she began to wonder if maybe Bo had tricked Tamsin into leaving the room so she could make a run for it. She had seen how scared Bo had been when she had put the syringe full of "Feed" in her IV. Then when Bo had confessed to Lauren that she had stopped feeding because she hadn't wanted to disappoint Lauren, it had nearly broken Lauren's heart in two. The last thing she had wanted Bo to do was stop feeding. She felt awful thinking about how she had more than likely caused Bo's eating disorder. She wouldn't blame Bo if she chose Tamsin over her now.

Tamsin was starting to feel very anxious as she sat next to Bo. She didn't want to take Bo from Lauren, but she couldn't hide the feelings she had for Bo anymore. She wanted to be with her so bad her heart ached. Maybe Bo just needed a break from Lauren for awhile, since it appeared that Lauren might have been the cause of Bo's eating disorder. Tamsin felt bad even thinking that though. Lauren had been there for Bo through so much. She had asked her to only feed off of her because she loved her so much. And she had said that she wasn't upset with Bo for feeding off of Tamsin, now that she had developed an eating disorder. As much as it hurt Tamsin to think about it, she realized that maybe it was best if she backed off and let Bo and Lauren be together. But what then of the promise that Tamsin had made to Bo about being there for her until she was better? About fighting this eating disorder for Bo if she had to?

Bo was scared. She was scared that if she chose one of the women over the other, that the other would be angry with her and she couldn't handle either of them being angry with her. But if she chose no one she would be alone. Maybe she deserved to be alone. She was still imperfect after all. Maybe she just needed to refuse to feed off of anyone. That would make them both happy, right? But no, wait, hadn't they just tried everything they could to get her to feed? Bo was so confused. She didn't want to be the one to make this choice. She wished that it could just be made for her.

Lauren was the first one to speak after all three of them had been silent for some time.

"Okay, it appears that Bo has a choice to make here. I can tell that the two of you have feelings for each other. Its become quite obvious."

Bo looked down at the floor, ashamed to realize that Lauren knew that she loved Tamsin as well.

"I know that you are dealing with a lot right now, Bo, and that you probably feel pretty guilty about who your suppose to choose, but unfortunately, this is one of those decisions that you have to make for yourself. We can't make it for you," Lauren said.

Bo got up and began to pace. She really didn't want all of this to fall on her. How was she suppose to make this decision when she was struggling to keep from running out of the room and leaving for good.

"I can't do this! This is too much! How can both of you want me so much? Do you not see how imperfect I am? I don't deserve either of you! I'm too fat, too ugly. I'm not good enough for either of you yet," Bo said.

"How can you say that about yourself, Bo? You are the most beautiful person i've ever met!" Tamsin said.

"Tamsin's right Bo, you are absolutely stunning. I wouldn't want anyone else but you," Lauren said.

"Okay, but even if you both think that, how am I suppose to choose? How do I choose between two people who I love so much?" Bo said, tears streaming down her face.

Bo was quiet for a moment as she let the tears fall from her face. Finally she spoke, "I think I've made my decision."

Lauren and Tamsin braced themselves, realizing that one of them was going to be let down. One of them was going to have to leave without Bo.

"I choose...both of you."

"What!?" Tamsin and Lauren said, in unison.

"I know, I know, this probably sounds crazy, but the truth is, I love both of you and I can't imagine my life without either of you. I know that this complicates things. I realize that, but if I can't have both of you I don't want either of you," Bo said.

Tamsin and Lauren realized Bo was serious.

"I know that I need help. And I'm willing to try to get better but i'm going to need both of you for that, however that works," Bo said.

"Okay, well, if this is what you want, Bo, then I think we need to get you back to my clinic. I'd like you to let me put an IV back in you and stay at my clinic so I can monitor you for awhile," Lauren said, trying to think practically after the shock of what Bo had just said.

"Lauren, I know your trying to help, but I can't go back to your clinic. If your going to help me, I want it to be here. And we have a lot to talk about," Bo said.

"Bo, I love you very much, but I think it might be best if I go back to my clinic for the night and Tamsin stays here with you. I'm not upset with you, but i'm not sure I can do all of this right now," Lauren said. She really didn't want to accept the fact that Bo wanted Tamsin as well. She loved Bo but sharing her was going to be hard. Maybe it was better if she just backed off for now, seeing as how she was the one who had likely caused Bo's eating disorder.

"Lauren, please don't go! I don't want you to be upset with me! I love you I do!" Bo said, scared that she was losing Lauren. She couldn't lose Lauren. She meant too much to her.

"Bo, its okay, really. I am not leaving you, okay? We are still together. I just need some time to think. I promise you, I will be back soon, okay?" Lauren said, coming over to Bo and taking her hands.

"Okay," Bo said, hoping that Lauren was telling the truth.

Bo walked Lauren to the door, then went back to the couch. She curled up in a ball, not believing that she might be losing Lauren.

"Bo, i'm really sorry. I shouldn't have gotten between you and Lauren," Tamsin said, feeling incredibly guilty. Maybe she should leave too.

"I can leave it you want me to," Tamsin said.

"No, please, don't go! I want you here. I need you, Tamsin," Bo said.

Tamsin couldn't resist the pleading look in Bo's eyes. She went to Bo and held her once again.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bo?"

"Yes, i'm positive," Bo said, smiling up at Tamsin.

After they had held each other for awhile, Tamsin realized it was getting pretty late and that Bo must be exhausted.

"We should get you to bed, Bo, you've had a long day. Do you want me to carry you upstairs?" Tamsin asked.

"Yes, please, i'm so incredibly tired," Bo said. Tamsin smiled as she picked Bo up in her arms and carried her upstairs.

Tamsin helped Bo get undressed for bed. She takes off Bo's shirt and finds it incredibly hard to suppress a gasp. She's never seen Bo naked before but guesses that she wasn't as thin as she looked now, a few months ago. Her ribs are jutting out and her stomach looks hollowed out. Tamsin touches Bo lightly, running her finger along her ribs, feeling how little fat she has on her.

"Tamsin, what are you doing?" Bo says, suddenly feeling very self-conscious as she can only think about how fat and unattractive Tamsin must think she is.

"Sorry, I just can't believe how..."

"How fat I am?" Bo interrupts, looking at the floor.

Tamsin raises Bo's chin with her fingers.

"Bo, look at me," Tamsin says, forcing Bo to look her in the eyes, "You are not the least bit fat. I know that its hard for you to see that, but I think you are the most beautiful person i've ever laid eyes on. And i'm not just saying that."

"You really think so?" Bo says, wanting to believe Tamsin.

"Without a doubt, my sweet girl," Tamsin says.

Tamsin helps Bo undress the rest of the way and then undresses herself. Bo gets into bed and lays on her side, patting the bed next to her to let Tamsin know she wants her to lay with her. Tamsin gets into bed as well, wrapping her arms around Bo. Bo feels incredibly safe once again in Tamsin's arms. Overcome by exhaustion, they both fell asleep within minutes.


	7. Chapter 7

Tamsin woke up first the next morning and lay in bed next to Bo, staring at her new girlfriends face. At some point in the night Bo had rolled over and buried her face in Tamsin's chest. She couldn't believe how beautiful Bo was and how Bo didn't see her own beauty. Tamsin had seen many beautiful people in her many live's but never one as beautiful as Bo. She had to help Bo see just how beautiful she really was, and how much she deserved to live. She hated seeing Bo's hate for herself.

Bo stirred after a few minutes and opened her eyes. She realized that Tamsin was staring at her.

"Hi, Bo," Tamsin said, smiling as Bo looked at her.

"Hi, Tamsin," Bo said, surprising herself by smiling back at Tamsin. She was feeling pretty calm and for once didn't feel so worried about being forced to feed.

"Did you sleep well?" Tamsin asked.

"Like a baby. I must have been really tired. I haven't slept that good in months. Or maybe it was because you were here holding me all night," Bo said, looking into Tamsin's eyes, longingly. She loved how Tamsin made her feel. It made her forget about everything else.

"Mmmm, I have to admit, it was nice having such a beautiful girl in my arms all night," Tamsin said, grabbing Bo around the waist and pulling her closer to her.

Bo moved her face closer to Tamsin's, loving the closeness. She was feeling so happy she almost forgot that Tamsin had just called her beautiful. ALMOST that is. She still wasn't sure she could handle anyone calling her beautiful when she didn't even feel close to being beautiful.

Tamsin saw the look on Bo's face when she called her beautiful.

"Bo, I'm going to help you realize just how beautiful you really are," Tamsin promised.

Bo stared into Tamsin's eyes, not sure what to say. Tamsin saw the pain present in Bo's eyes. She wanted to hold her until the pain went away.

Bo finally spoke. "Thank you, Tamsin. Its still really hard for me to accept that anyone thinks i'm beautiful. But you make me feel so safe. I think I might actually be able to believe your words... someday," Bo said.

"Let me show you how beautiful you are, Bo," Tamsin said.

She touched Bo's face, tracing from her forehead down to her chin. Then she moved on to Bo's arms, running her fingers down every inch of one arm then the next. Then she crossed over to Bo's breast, cupping each one in her hands and massaging them, before moving on down to Bo's ribs. She counted each rib with her fingers. She was definitely enjoying touching every bit of Bo's body and Bo was intrigued and aroused by Tamsin's touch. Then Tamsin moved to Bo's stomach, feeling the hollow parts where Bo had lost a lot of weight. She moved down to Bo's lower stomach and Bo gasped and sat up, suddenly. The gasp startled Tamsin.

"Are you okay, Bo? Did I hurt you?"

"No, sorry, I'm ok. I think you just found my bladder, because now I have to pee, like really bad," Bo said, feeling a bit embarrassed and disappointed as she was going to have to get up now before she made a puddle on the bed.

Tamsin laughed, not the least bit upset with Bo, but noting how Bo was a bit embarrassed by the interruption.

"It's okay, Bo. We can continue after you go pee. Wouldn't want you to wet yourself," Tamsin said, a sly grin on her face.

Bo began to laugh too, realizing Tamsin wasn't upset with her.

"However, I'm not sure I can let you leave without at least attempting to tickle you. I mean, come on, you did just admit you had to pee," Tamsin said, feeling naughty.

"You wouldn't dare!" Bo laughed.

"Would I?" Tamsin said, reaching for Bo's belly and beginning to tickle her, gently. Bo tried to move out of the way but wasn't fast enough.

They both fell back on the bed, laughing. Bo managed to wiggle her way to the edge of the bed where she sprinted up and ran to the bathroom, Tamsin playfully running after her.

Bo used the bathroom while Tamsin continued teasing her then they both made their way back to the bed where they enjoyed themselves some more.

Bo lay back on the bed exhausted after an intimate time with Tamsin. She also felt incredibly relaxed and realized that for a few hours she had been able to let go of her insecurities and let someone love her, no matter what she felt she looked like.

It was nearly 10 am and Tamsin realized that Bo hadn't fed yet. Bo had avoided doing so during their "fun" time and Tamsin hadn't really thought about it as she had been so lost in pleasure and making Bo feel good. She also realized that Bo hadn't eaten actual food the entire two days that she had been with Tamsin. She wasn't entirely certain what made Bo stronger, feeding or eating actual food, but given that Bo was very thin, she realized that she probably needed both. She didn't want to ask Bo when the last time was that she had eaten but she realized she didn't have a choice if she was going to be help her get better.

"Bo, when was the last time you ate something?" Tamsin asked Bo, as the two of them were getting dressed.

Bo hadn't expected the question and for a second lost a grip on the shirt she had just picked up. She caught it quickly hoping that Tamsin hadn't seen that the question had caught her off guard. The truth was, she hadn't eaten actual food for nearly a month. When she had realized that she didn't need to eat to survive she had taken advantage of it and had stopped altogether. That's how she had lost most of the weight fairly quickly. Though feeding was how she had managed to stay alive, as it sustained her regardless of whether or not she ate. What she didn't realize was that the two worked together and when she didn't have one, it made her weaker, thus why she had been having dizzy/fainting episodes.

"Its been nearly a month since I ate, actually," Bo said, surprising even herself with how honest she was being.

"A month? Sweetie, no wonder your so thin," Tamsin said, not bothering to hide her concern. She couldn't believe that Bo had gone that long without eating.

"Can I ask you another personal question, Bo?"

"Um, sure."

"Do you know how much you weigh?" Tamsin asked, not liking that she had to ask. She wanted to know exactly how much Bo had lost. She needed to know her weight at some point anyway, if she was going to make sure she gained some of it back.

"I...I'm really not sure. I haven't weighed myself in awhile," Bo said.

"Can I ask how much you weighed before all of this started?"

"125," Bo said, hanging her head. She was ashamed of her weight before. She had spent the past few months being upset with herself for having weighed what she felt was too much. The last time she had stepped on the scale had been about a month ago and she had weighed 114.

"Bo, would it be okay if I weighed you? I know this is probably making you uncomfortable, but I think it would help me get an idea of how much you need to gain. I know that thought it probably scary for you right now," Tamsin said.

"Yeah, its okay," Bo said, rather quietly. She knew it needed to be done.

Bo led Tamsin to the bathroom where the scale was. The truth was, Bo was actually looking forward to finding out how much she weighed, as she had been putting it off for weeks, but was hoping that she weighed less than she had before. Bo stepped on the scale after removing every single article of clothing and even taking her hair tie out. She stood up as straight and still as she could waiting for the scale to beep and tell her what she weighed. When it beeped she slowly looked down at it, feeling very nervous. The scale read 96. Bo couldn't believe she had lost more weight. And to be under 100 lbs had seemed like a dream a month before.

Tamsin was scared when she saw that Bo was under 100 lbs. She should have weighed at least 20 lbs more than that.

"Bo, I'm really concerned about you now that i've seen your weight, not to mention how thin you are. I'm sure you know what i'm going to ask you to do next and I know you don't want to but you have to," Tamsin said.

"Tamsin, I don't think I can...Its been so long and I didn't think I needed to eat anymore, because I felt just fine," Bo said, becoming scared.

"Bo, I don't want to force you but if I have to I will. You can't live like this," Tamsin said.

Bo turned away from Tamsin and began to get dressed in a hurry. She didn't want to be angry at Tamsin, seeing as how she was trying to help Bo, but she couldn't eat right now. She wasn't ready.

After Bo was dressed she started to walk quickly towards the bathroom door. She was almost surprised when Tamsin blocked the only way out of the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" Bo asked, starting to feel herself panic a little bit. She was determined to not let Tamsin force feed her, even though just the thought of Tamsin made her heart beat a little faster.

"Your angry with me, Bo, aren't you? You don't want to eat and you don't me to force you to," Tamsin said.

"I don't want to be angry with you, Tamsin, I really don't. But no, I don't want to eat and I don't want you to force me to. This feels a little different than feeding. Its harder, because, well, because it was easier to stop eating than it was to stop feeding. It was like as long as I fed every once in awhile, I could keep both types of hunger away. So its really hard for me to accept the fact that I actually need to eat. Because really, I see no reason why I need to. It seems pointless to me. Eating is going to make me gain weight and I can't gain weight, because it if I do, it will destroy my progress towards being beautiful and thin...And being wanted," Bo said.

"But Bo, you already are beautiful and thin. I know you don't see that. But the other thing is that you are actually underweight. Dangerously underweight, especially if you lose anymore," Tamsin said.

Bo didn't know what to do. She wasn't going to give in and eat. Tamsin had forced her to feed the day before but she wasn't going to let her or anyone else force her to eat. Maybe she could trick Tamsin into thinking that she was going to eat and then make a run for it again. Its not what she really wanted to do, but the fear was rising up inside of her again.

"Okay Tamsin, i'll eat," Bo said.

"You will? What changed your mind?" Tamsin asked, growing suspicious. She wondered if Bo was planning something.

"I know that you love me and you want me to eat, so maybe I can eat because you want me to," Bo said, smiling at Tamsin, hoping that this would work.

Tamsin felt herself wanting to believe that Bo was telling the truth, because she knew that Bo loved her and that she felt safe with her. She decided to go along with it but to watch her extra closely. She had kept a promise to Bo that she would help her fight her eating disorder. She intended to keep that promise.


	8. Chapter 8

Tamsin led Bo down the stairs, holding onto her hand in an attempt to keep her from trying to run. She walked into the kitchen and began to take stuff out of the fridge.

"You, come sit over here. Please. I just want to make sure your close by, okay?" Tamsin said, pointing to a stool that was up against the counter right next to where Tamsin was.

"Why, so you can stop me from running away?" Bo asked, sarcastically.

"Bo, you know i'm only doing this to help you, right?" Tamsin said, as she continued to cook.

"I'm sorry, Tamsin. I really don't want to fight with you. Its just really hard because there's this part of me that is screaming inside, telling me to do anything I can to stop myself or anyone else who tries to make me eat," Bo said.

"I know, Bo, I know. That part has to be really hard. But if you don't start somewhere your never going to and then your body will never get used to having food inside of it. And we both know what could happen if you don't eat."

Bo stared down at the floor, not wanting to think about the fact that she could die. Before she hadn't really cared if she died but since she had fallen in love with Tamsin and felt how much she cared for her, she kind of didn't want to die anymore. Yet, she knew it was going to be a huge battle for her to eat.

Tamsin finished cooking and brought two plates over to the table, along with two glasses of orange juice. She came back over to where Bo was and offered Bo her hand. Bo hesitantly took it and let Tamsin help her off the stool. Tamsin led her to the table and pulled out a chair for Bo. Bo sat down, slowly, not looking forward to what was going to happen next.

Tamsin had made omelette's with veggies and cheese and toast. She hadn't wanted to overwhelm Bo at first so she'd tried to keep it simple. She watched as Bo stared down at the food. She knew this had to be really hard for her, especially since it had been so long since she'd eaten. Tamsin was prepared to do whatever it took to get her girlfriend to eat.

Bo wasn't sure if she could do this or not. She looked over at Tamsin, hoping that maybe doing so would make it easier. Tamsin smiled at her, hoping to reassure her that it was going to be okay. Bo had planned to try and run once she was actually in front of the food but looking at Tamsin made her want to stay and at least try to eat. Even if she

only managed a small amount. She slowly picked up her fork and began cutting up some of the omelette. She took a small piece and working up the courage, started to bring it to her mouth. She placed the bite in her mouth and began to chew. The food felt foreign in her mouth but yet it actually tasted really good and she found herself okay with it. She managed to swallow the first bite and moved on to a second one. She continued until she had eaten ½ of the omelette. Then she picked up a piece of toast and slowly ate half of it. Then she put the rest down and took a few small sips of orange juice. The whole process took her about 30 minutes. When she put the glass back down again she happened to glance at the plate and realized she had just eaten food. For the first time in a month. She wasn't sure how she was suppose to feel. She was doing okay until suddenly she started to feel full. The feeling just got worse and she began to panic. It felt like it was expanding in her stomach and all she could think was that it was going to make her blow up like a balloon and she was going to look so fat.

Tamsin couldn't believe that Bo managed to eat some of the food. She was really proud of her but knew that once she realized that she had just eaten that she might start to panic. She was ready for whatever Bo did next.

Bo slowly began to move her chair backwards, hoping that Tamsin wouldn't notice when she bolted out of it and ran for the bathroom. She couldn't allow the food to stay in her stomach. She had thought that she was fine at first but after the full feeling had started she realized that she felt incredibly huge and the only way to not feel that way was to get rid of the food. She had managed to move the chair out far enough that she felt she could safely get up and run without risking knocking the chair over or tripping on it. She took a few seconds to make sure Tamsin hadn't seen her moving the chair. Tamsin wasn't currently looking at Bo so she felt it was a good time to make her move. She suddenly bolted from the chair and began to run away from the table.

Tamsin was ready for Bo. She had known the entire time that this was probably going to happen and had been waiting for it. She was definitely much faster than Bo and as soon as she saw Bo's body leave the chair, Tamsin was out of hers and ready to grab Bo. Tamsin stood directly in front of Bo, letting her know that she wasn't going to let her get past her. Bo was definitely taken by surprise when Tamsin jumped in front of her, stopping her from running. She hadn't anticipated that Tamsin would not only see that she was about to run but also be out of the chair before she could even get past Tamsin's chair. Bo attempted to go around Tamsin but her girlfriend wasn't having it. She grabbed Bo's arms as she tried to go past, and prepared to hold on as Bo began to try to get away.

Bo flung her arms up in the air trying to get away, but it was useless to fight against Tamsin, who was stronger.

"What are you doing?" Bo said, panic rising in her voice.

"I told I would help you fight this, Bo. I intend to keep that promise," Tamsin said.

"How did you know what I was going to do?" Bo asked, beginning to struggle again, trying to get away from Tamsin. Tamsin loosened her grip on one of Bo's arms so she could grab Bo around the waist and pull Bo towards her, so she was facing her.

"This isn't the first time you've tried to run, you know. I was expecting you to," Tamsin said.

"Tamsin, you don't understand. This time its harder. I wasn't suppose to eat! And now my only choice is to get rid of it. Please don't stop me from doing that. I NEED to!" Bo said.

"Bo, I know you want to get rid of it but you haven't eaten for so long that it makes sense that your body feels like it wants you to get rid of it. You have to fight against it. Will you try? For me?" Tamsin asked.

'Will you try? For me?' The words echoed in Bo's head. What was she suppose to say?

"That's not fair, Tamsin, how am I suppose to say no to that? Do you know how hard this is?! Every fiber of my body is telling me to fight you until you let me go!"

"I can't even begin to understand what that must be like, Bo. But there is something I can do. I can stop you from making yourself throw up. I'm going to hold you until you don't feel like getting rid of it," Tamsin said.

She let go of her hold on Bo's waist and took her hand. She began to lead her towards the couch, hoping she would stay calm long enough for them to sit down.

Bo let herself be led to the couch, feeling the fight start to go out of her. Then she suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to get away from Tamsin anyway possible. They were both in front of the couch now and Tamsin only had Bo by her hand. Bo suddenly jerked away from Tamsin, hoping it would be enough to get her to let go. Surprisingly it was, as Tamsin lost her grip on Bo's hand. Bo stood in front of Tamsin, not believing that she had just gotten out of her girlfriends grasp. Bo turned to run, mad at herself for choosing her eating disorder over Tamsin, but not feeling like she had a choice.

Tamsin knew that Bo was hurting and that she didn't want to choose her eating disorder but that she was being forced to as her SuccuAna told her that she had to fight any attempt to keep food in her body. She also knew that she had to keep fighting for Bo, so she did the only thing she knew to do. She was still faster than Bo and ran up behind her as quickly as she could and lunged at Bo, grabbing her around the waist and almost knocking her over. Bo had no choice but to stop running as Tamsin grabbed her. She wasn't strong enough to get Tamsin off of her. Bo did struggle though, not wanting to give in and let herself be held again, though she wanted it so badly.

"Let me go, Tamsin! I don't deserve to keep living! I can't even stop myself from getting rid of the food I know I need," Bo pleaded.

"It's okay, Bo, its my job to stop you from killing yourself now. Let me help you," Tamsin said.

She held Bo even closer and Bo completely broke down. She began to cry and felt her knees go weak from the effort of trying to fight so hard. Tamsin loosened her grip just long enough to grab Bo before she fell and picked her up. She cradled Bo in her arms before walking over to the couch with her. She sat down and Bo buried her head in Tamsin's chest, pulling her knees up closer to Tamsin as she let herself be held. She continued to sob, not holding back.

Tamsin stroked Bo's hair and held her girlfriend in her arms, closely. Bo sobbed for some time before quieting down. Tamsin continued to hold Bo closely, letting her feel how much she loved her. Bo finally pulled her face out Tamsin's chest and looked up at Tamsin.

"Thank you, Tamsin. I couldn't have done this without you," Bo said, her face streaked with tears, but honestly happy that Tamsin had been there to hold her.

Tamsin took Bo's face in her hands and looked into Bo's eyes.

"I would do anything for you, Bo. I want you to know that. I love you."

"I love you too, Tamsin!" Bo said.

Tamsin leaned in and kissed Bo, unable to resist any longer. Bo happily returned the kiss, letting herself get lost in the moment. Bo didn't even realize that she was feeding off of Tamsin until she felt herself getting stronger. She cut herself off before she could fully feed, though, not wanting to allow herself to willingly feed.

"Bo, its okay, you can feed off of me. It's what your suppose to do," Tamsin said, trying to encourage Bo. She saw the look in Bo's eyes when she'd realized she was feeding.

"I want to, Tamsin, but I just can't. Not just yet at least. I'm not sure I can handle the idea of having eaten and completely fed, so close together."

"It's okay. You don't have to right now. I'm just so proud of you for trying. You did it. You didn't let your eating disorder take over," Tamsin said.

"I did, didn't ? But I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you,again, Tamsin," Bo said, smiling at her girlfriend.

"Anytime, succubus," Tamsin replied, returning the smile.


	9. Chapter 9

Bo couldn't believe that she had not only eaten for the first time in a month but had actually managed to avoid making herself throw up;with Tamsin's help of course. She was feeling pretty positive after Tamsin had stopped her from making herself throw up. Having Tamsin anywhere near her really seemed to help stop the negative feelings that she had for herself. 

After the progress Bo had made that morning, Tamsin had led Bo to the couch and held her in her arms for another hour, making sure that Bo wasn't tempted to run off again if she started to feel anxious again. They had talked quite a bit during that time about things unrelated to what was going on. Bo had welcomed the distraction and attention from the Valkyrie.

When the hour had ended, Bo had realized that she was exhausted and had asked Tamsin to help her get upstairs so she could lie down for a bit. Tamsin was more than happy to help Bo upstairs and then decided to go clean up the kitchen while her girlfriend slept.

An hour later, there was a knock on the door. Tamsin had finished cleaning up the kitchen by this point and had been sitting at the counter checking her email,when she heard the knock. She got up to go answer the door, wondering who it could be. She was slightly surprised to see Lauren standing at the door.

"Hey, Lauren. Come on in. Bo is upstairs resting," Tamsin said, noticing that Lauren was carrying a medical bag with her.

"Hey, Tamsin. How is she doing?" Lauren asked, as she walked into the clubhouse, following Tamsin over to the counter, where they both sat down.

"Well, she's definitely made some progress today. I got her to eat actual food. She said she hasn't eaten for an entire month," Tamsin said.

"Are you serious?! I thought she was being pretty distant lately but I didn't realize that she'd gone an entire month without eating. That's great that you got her to eat though. Has she fed since I left last night?"

"She did, but it was not a very long feed," Tamsin said, kind of hoping that Lauren didn't question why she hadn't fed longer. She didn't really want to explain that Bo had willingly kissed her and they'd shared another moment.

"I guess its a start at least. How is she doing physically? Did you happen to get a chance to weigh her or anything? Has she needed help getting around? Had anymore fainting or dizzy spells?" Lauren asked, the Dr side of her taking over.

"I did get a chance to weigh her this morning. That's when she told me that she hadn't eaten for an entire month. She weighed in at 96 pounds. She told me that she was 125 when this all first started. She seems to have times where she feels stronger but I've had to help her up and down the stairs. She got weak earlier after fighting me when she managed to eat."

"Wow, I didn't realize she had lost that much weight. She does look really thin though. I guess I just haven't been paying much attention to her lately. I thought she was asking me to back off. Every time I was around her it seemed like she was trying to get away from me. I'm not really sure she even wants me around anymore," Lauren confessed.

"Lauren, I know i'm not necessarily the best person to be talking to you about this but I can see the fire she has in her eyes for you. I'm starting to really believe that she knew what she wanted when she chose both of us," Tamsin said.

"Thanks, Tamsin. That means a lot. It looks like I need to start paying more attention to her then, because i'm not about to lose her to her eating disorder," Lauren said.

"I'm right there with you, Lauren. We will help her get through this. She's made some great progress today already. It's not going to be easy but we have to make sure we stand by her, even when it gets hard," Tamsin said.

The two ladies talked for a bit longer before deciding to go check on Bo.

Bo had slept for about an hour and a half before waking up again. She lay in her bed thinking about what had happened in the past few days. She had gone from having a secret that was all her to own and not having to worry about anyone finding out, to having two people, whom she loved dearly, realizing what she was doing. She knew that Lauren and Tamsin wanted to help her. She was starting to want their help, but there was still that part of her that was very upset about giving up what she had worked so hard for.

Bo was also worried about how things were going to go with Lauren, now that Lauren knew the reason Bo hadn't been feeding. She didn't want Lauren to blame herself for her decision to stop feeding. She wasn't sure if Lauren even wanted to be with her anymore, especially after she had chosen both Lauren and Tamsin. It was obvious that Lauren hadn't liked sharing Bo or she never would have asked Bo to only feed off of her. She couldn't bare the thought of Lauren leaving her though. The feeling to just run away from both of the women she loved crossed her mind again. She found herself getting out of her bed and walking over to her window. She examined the window, wondering if she could get it open, then wondered if it would be too big of a drop to the ground if she did manage to get it open. She was just about to try opening the window when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Bo, how are you feeling?" Tamsin asked, walking into Bo's room with Lauren behind her.

"I'm doing okay," Bo said, walking over to where Tamsin was standing. She realized that Lauren was right behind her.

"Lauren! Your here!" Bo said, a little surprised to see her girlfriend. She walked over to Lauren and hugged her happily.

"I told you i'd come back, silly. I just needed some time to think," Lauren said, hugging Bo back. She had brought her medical bag up with her but had set it by the door so as not to scare Bo.

"Do I get a hug too? I haven't seen you for oh, say, 2 hours," Tamsin said jokingly.

Bo went to Tamsin and let herself be hugged by the Valkyrie. Bo let go of Tamsin and sat on her bed, motioning for both of her girlfriends to have a seat next to her. They sat on either side of Bo.

"So, what brings you two up to my room?" Bo asked, feeling a little nervous about what they were going to do next. She kept feeling like everyone was watching her and waiting for her to eat even more or feed off of them.

"Well, I was hoping that you would let me examine you, Bo. I just want to be sure that your doing okay," Lauren said.

"Um, okay, sure," Bo said.

"Thanks, Bo," Lauren said, smiling at her girlfriend, and happy to see she wasn't going to fight her today.

Lauren went over to the door and grabbed her medical bag, bringing it back over to the bed.

"So, I hear that you've made some progress today, Bo."

"Yeah, I guess I have."

"Did you really go an entire month without eating?" Lauren asked, trying to hide her concern.

"Tamsin told you about that?" Bo asked, feeling a little hurt. She had hoped that whatever had happened that day would have stayed between her and the Valkyrie. She realized that she didn't like Lauren knowing what she had eaten or when she'd last fed. She was kind of worried that Lauren would be upset with her.

"Yes, she did, sweetie. We decided it was best for us both to be on the same page when it came to helping you," Lauren said, noting how Bo seemed very upset about Tamsin telling her.

Bo didn't say anything. She wanted to blow up at both Tamsin and Lauren, but realized that they were only trying to help her.

"Yes, I did go an entire month without eating. I thought that...I thought I didn't need to eat anymore and it was much easier to not eat than it was to not...feed."

"Bo, are you scared that i'm going to get mad at you for needing to feed? Because i'm not. I know that I was wrong to try and tell you that you shouldn't feed as much as you needed to. Your a succubus and that's how you stay alive," Lauren said.

"But you were right. I didn't need to feed so much. I was the one being selfish. I should have controlled myself better, but instead I wanted to feed more. But I didn't do it, because I wanted to be beautiful...for you. And I knew I couldn't be if I fed and ate all the time," Bo said.

Lauren stopped examining Bo and took Bo's hands in hers. She sat down on the bed next to Bo, making her turn to look at her.

"Bo, you don't need to stop feeding and eating to be beautiful. You are already beautiful and you were beautiful a month ago, before you stopped. I promise you that I will never tell you that you shouldn't feed. And you can feed off of whoever you want to, from now on. I don't own you and I can't tell you what to do. But I will tell you this, sweetie, you have to keep feeding and you have to eat. You can't live without doing so," Lauren said.

Bo was touched by what Lauren was saying and wrapped her arms around Lauren. Lauren held her close, happy to have her girlfriend in her arms.

Lauren finished examining Bo after the two had hugged for a few minutes. Bo seemed to be stable. Even though she had only eaten once since the time she had collapsed, the fact that she had fed a few times since then was definitely helping her get stronger. The hard part was going to be convincing Bo that she still had to keep eating and feeding. It was going to be a long process but Lauren wasn't going to let Bo stop.

Tamsin sat next to the two ladies after Lauren had finished examining Bo. She looked over at Bo, realizing she felt so much love for the succubus. She was also determined to make sure that Bo continued to get better and wouldn't give up on her, no matter how hard it might get.

Bo wrapped an arm around each of her girlfriends, realizing that she could do this if she had them by her side. For once in a long time she felt like she could finally be herself.

 _I wasn't sure if I was going to end this story in this Chapter or not but once I started writing it just kind of seemed the right place to stop. I felt like I might be running it into the ground if I tried to put in the entire recovery process for Bo, so I decided to leave it the way it was. I may go back and change some of the story at some point but for now I think i'll leave it the way it is. Feel free to give me any feedback that you have, or if you would have liked to see it end a different way. I may be done with this story for now but i'm definitely not done writing. I have a lot of ideas for Lost Girl related stories and stories from other shows/ books, so stay tuned for future stories. A big thanks to everyone who has continued to follow this story!_


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